Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize