youre lurking in front of me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
