? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Bring me that man meat
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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