Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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(785): View more from Kansas

It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

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(515): View more from Iowa

Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

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(360): View more from Washington

Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."

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(901): View more from Tennessee

The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.

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