It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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