If i come over, it means nothing
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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