More tranny stories later!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
