I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
