i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
