My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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