You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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