I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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