you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
