Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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