You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
