I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
