You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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