she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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