Already got asked if we're dating
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
