I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
