Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
