we made out on top of his cat.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
