How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
