I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
