sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
