don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
