How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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