I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
