you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
