i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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