he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Everything about him screamed your future.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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