just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
