so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
