her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
