He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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