Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
