Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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