I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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