i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
