She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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