fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
