This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
