escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
