Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
