Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
