for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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