Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
