Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
