Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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