question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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