i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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