Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
