so that wasnt chicken after all
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We left an ass print on the piano.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize