fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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