i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
