capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
