All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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