Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
