Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if only i could text you this smell
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have post one night stand depression
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
