So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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