Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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