oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
