You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
