brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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