just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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