I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
