There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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