Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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