Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
