This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
